Are you concerned with getting your ex back? Well, if you know anything about relationship rules you may need to start now if you want to pull back your ex before things between you get to
a point of no return. If that occurs, you will really have to work hard at the art of making up in order to salvage your relationship.

Most couples know when something is off kilter in their relationship. Sometimes it can be seen as a prelude to a breakup. If this starts to happen, you need to perk up because there may be a
breakup looming ahead in your future which will add more to the stress if you  need to engage in getting your ex back. Here are the top five ways to recognize an impending breakup:

1. Your partner stops initiating conversation or even making small talk with you. Your days together are quiet and the usual questions regarding your day, family, friends or happenings at
   work no longer is of interest. They stop sharing information and if you do happen to get any chatter, it is only to be cordial.
2. The sofa becomes a bed more than once a week. Your beloved instead of watching TV and coming to bed stays outside the bedroom long after their favorite program is off. During the night, you find
   yourself alone in bed wondering where they are. If you do a walk about, you find that they are again asleep on the sofa for the third time this week. That is cause for concern and your partner could be sending an unspoken message that intimacy is no longer an important part of the relationship.
3. Your beloved becomes evasive and begins making excuses why they are late coming home after work. They may have even taken up a new hobby or even met a new friend that keeps them out late past
   your sleep curfew which means they will return home when they know you are asleep. The goal does not have to make the effort to engage you in conversation.
4. They always have something else to do when you want to spend time with them. Have you even tried scheduling a romantic evening only for it to be cancelled at the last minute or you wait patiently for your partner to settle on a date and time as the excuses fly with reasons why they are not available.
5. Sarcasm and negative comments take the place of support and that loving feeling you grew accustomed to receiving. If you pose a question regarding a change in how they look or make a comment about
   something, it’s met with sarcasm, one line sentences or in some cases an angry silence. You’re left wondering asking the question in your head, “What happened?”

The prelude to a breakup doesn’t happen in a few hours or in a day, the beginning to the end can occur in a matter of minutes. The actual separation can take its course within a week or two. Then either you have a big argument and you breakup or you have one of those moments where the words you are reluctant to hear, “We need to talk” may come forth. However, so much may have transpired between the two of you, that talking may not be the answer especially if you are paying more attention to the words in your head, “What went wrong? Or even, the dreaded “I’m going to leave.”

Our pride and ego finds itself into the relationship which means the likelihood of making up will be dismal and possibly not likely. In order to make up, you have to look at the good in your relationship and then what your life would be like without the other person in it. Think about it for a day or so and then sit down and talk out your differences.

“I’m sorry,” these words seem to be the hardest words to say.  Could there be some merit to the belief by some relationship experts that sometimes when people mention those words it’s just an excuse for the offending person to misbehave again? It seems that a genuine apology is actually difficult to receive because the words may have lost their meaning and most importantly, the behavior that caused the apology fails to change.

A good apology specialist can give you an apology without feeling or thought because they are more focused on the outcome, rather than how they made you feel when they offended you. For example, if the apology specialist offers up an apology it could be the difference between the receiver being a sour puss for the day or not, it may pave the way for a night of intimacy for the wayward offender or even stave off the ever popular silent treatment. Whatever the outcome, how does one apologize with sincerity?

• You must first approach the person with genuineness. The important thing here is to be able to interpret whether the person is open to receiving your apology. The best thing to do is check their non-verbal communication and also gauge whether they are reception to discussing the issue with you.
• Be a good listener. While the person is talking no matter if you agree or disagree with their take on things listen to them without flinching or interruption as they explain to you what they are feeling as a result of your actions. You can’t be on the defensive, this is one situation where you listen with empathy, without interruption and apologize with sincerity.
• Be sensitive to the other person’s feelings. Too many times when our hands are caught in the cookie jar and we know we’ve been caught, we quickly apologize with the understanding the issue is closed for discussion. We are hesitant to examine how our actions affect the other person. In some cases, we become forgetful as quickly as we offer to apologize for our actions. We really don’t take time for the receiver to say whether they accept our apology or not which means we are prone to repeating the same behavior.
• Talk it out. Instead of offering a quick apology and moving on, talk about what happened. Most people don’t have the stomach for this because it forces them to be vulnerable not only to learn the true feelings about you from the other person, but also having to take responsibility for your actions. This step is about acknowledging your behavior in the mishap and also ensuring it doesn’t occur again.
• Welcome embarrassment. If you allow the recipient of an apology to talk about the offending behavior with you, yes your body will react like it does when you feel embarrassed, but sometimes it’s not embarrassment, but feelings of shame. We become shameful of being caught acting ugly towards someone especially if it’s someone we love.  That may be the reason apologies can sometimes be so difficult to make. Grin and bear it.
• Be aware of how you communicate. When apologizing, use words that show empathy in how you understand why your actions caused the person to feel hurt. It’s important in this step to be cognizant of the person’s feelings with the goal being to truly make amends for your behavior.

I’m sorry doesn’t have to be the hardest words to say. If your apology is truly given where the receiver appreciates your sincerity, then you have done well. Apologies should help build and maintain relationships and not be a competition of who should apologize first. This practice only produces frequent impasses that usually leaves your relationships in gridlock.  Apologies shouldn’t be words spoken without thought or feeling because we care more about the outcome than how our behavior made our partner feel. To get your ex back, your apologies have to be sincere because your partner trusts that you won’t repeat the offending behavior again.

This post is by Abubakar Jamil taken from his blog at abubakarjamil.com. . . a Self-Improvement Blog

I was sitting there on the sand facing the ocean. She was sitting in front of me, with her back against my chest. My arms around her, holding her close to me, I was touching her face. Her hair fluttered around in the wind that was caressing us lovingly—the wind of life passing by.

Clouds hovered above our heads, looking down and watching us with their invisible eyes, as if they wanted to capture the essence of that moment.

The crimson-orange sun was slipping into the ocean, bit by bit, moment by moment—as if deliberately—just to see us together one more time before embarking on its own journey, leaving behind just a yellow tint on the skyline.

I looked at the setting sun and it spoke to me, “Stay there my friend, as long as you are meant to be. Make this moment eternal. Freeze it in your heart like a beautiful painting, so that you can look at it when you need to—and you will need to someday!”

There was no noise. Just the sound. The sound of silence. The sound of the wind passing by. The sound of the waves coming, touching our feet—as if to kiss them—and going back, taking away with them the message of love into the ocean of eternity!

There were no words to say. No things to talk about. All was said and heard already. No questions remained. No answers were needed. All we needed was already there—Us!

We were two souls becoming one in that moment—the moment of a lifetime!

Just like in the heart of an atom lies an enormous power, which if allowed to explode can destroy everything around it, similarly, there exist moments in our lives, which if allowed to come to surface and open up, have the incredible power to demolish all the emotional blockages, that we take years to build, in order to keep our sorrows, hurts and suffering of our pasts locked up inside us.

We lock them up so that we can survive and go on with our “normal” lives. The lives that other people see us living. But only we know, that how other people perceive our lives to be, is not how our lives are. There is always an undercurrent of life that we live, along with a life that we live on the surface.

And then someday, something happens and that moment—which we always keep hidden inside us and avoid facing at all costs—comes to surface and explodes. Its utter intensity and colossal power takes on a life of its own.

We feel helpless in front of it. We give up because there is no other choice but to surrender ourselves before it. We let it do what it is supposed to do—to shatter to pieces all the bandages that we put on our hearts, wound by wound.

And then the storm bursts forth with an all-consuming force, and spills out of our eyes in the form of tears. They just come and come and come… We cry from the heart. Our souls shiver in the presence of such a moment and we—ourselves—become just like a tear. Wet from the inside out, drifting away from ourselves, going with the pull of the gravity of our emotions.

It doesn’t stop, unless everything is washed away. It doesn’t end, unless there is nothing left to cry about. It doesn’t rest, unless all that remains in our hearts is emptiness.

And emptiness is a blessing, because if your heart is already filled, you can not love anyone or anything, without creating a mess inside an already messy heart. Cleansing is important and that is what that moment does to us. It cleans out the past debris, leaving behind a heart as pure as gold.

People say that you can only love once in your life. They say that you can never forget your first love or your last love. I say that there is no first or second or last love. There is only love and we love the people we are supposed to love when it’s their time to show up in our lives.

You won’t be able to stop that feeling of love for someone when it is time for you to love him or her. Reasons don’t matter in the affairs of the hearts. Hearts come with a reasoning of their own.

And every love that you experience is different and yet the same. Each love leaves you with something immortal, eternal and changes you in an unchangeable way. And listen to me when I say this;

If you have loved someone, and that has not changed your life for good, you have never really loved.

That is the unchallengeable power of love.

People love and get hurt, and heartbroken many of them either fall into depression or turn toward avoidance by welcoming drugs and/or revengeful lust in their lives. They think that their lives are worth nothing, now that they can not be with the one they love.

What a wasteful approach toward love that is! What a sad, negative approach!

Yes it hurts and it hurts really bad when it happens, and yes it leaves its scars on your soul, but is that all that your loving someone gives you?

What about those golden moments when you felt complete with the person you loved? Don’t they mean anything to you now?

What about the ecstasy in which your spirit danced when you loved someone? Does that have no value for you, now that your beloved is not with you anymore?

Why not?

Love is just like life. It has its ups and downs. Sorrows and pleasures. Hurt and healing.

Why do we only focus on the hurts and forget about all the pleasures it lets us experience? Why we only remember the suffering and choose not to acknowledge its blessedness? Like I said, love is just like life. Love is life. Life is love.

So let’s treat it as life itself.

Strip away the hurt and let that moment dance in your heart which made you feel complete—even if for a second. Get rid of the suffering and let the glorious light of love shine in your spirit.

And as for the hurts and suffering—The Moment—which I talked about above, will take care of that. Your tears will wash it all away. Learn to cry like that. Learn to let that moment soothe your trembling heart. Learn to respect those healing tears—that holy water!

Yes that moment may not be a single moment. It may stretch itself to a day, a week, a month, a year or even a few years, but it always comes one day to take you in its healing and invigorating embrace.

And when your heart starts feeling light again—and it will—love that person even more. Keep him or her alive in your heart and be grateful, that he or she made it possible for you to feel love’s elation, its rapture, its intoxicating beatitude—the greatest emotion you as a human being can ever experience.

Let your sorrows be your sweetest songs, like Shelley so aptly and so beautifully said,

We look before and after,
And pine for what is not;
Our sincerest laughter
With some pain is fraught;
Our sweetest songs are those that tell of saddest thought.

As I heard these lines, I opened my eyes and the sun had already gone down. The night was waking up. The winds were still dancing around. The waves were coming and going as they were supposed to. Life was dancing on the tunes of destiny, as always.

The only one who was not there—was Her. She was gone with the sun. I smiled at her, at the ocean, at the winds, at the clouds, at myself, at life, at love and walked back to my life again—with my eyes almost dry, and a silence in my heart, the type of silence that floats over the stillness of our souls after a storm has just passed.

Blessing her one last time, I whispered to her soul that she will always remain in my heart, but only for the greatest emotions she allowed me to experience with her. I told her that I’ll be eternally grateful to her that she came into my life for however little a time, for whatever reasons.

And in the heart of my heart, I knew, that it’s not over—yet…

Photo Credit

The Three Year Itch  has replaced “The Seven Year Itch, ” as the turning point where couples begin to take each other for granted, according to a new survey.  Weight gain, greed, toe nail remains on the bathroom floor and snoring are some of the spoilers of passion that has led to a faster decline in relationships in the 21st century. This according to a study commissioned by Warner Brothers to promote the release of the new film, “Hall Pass” that is being released in the UK.

The survey of 2,000 British adults in steady relationships identified 36 months as the time when relationship stress peaks and points to a new trend of “pink passes” and a “solo” vacations from partners and spouses that many British couples resort to in order to keep romance alive.

“More working hours combined with money problems are clearly taking its toll on modern relationships and we are seeing a growing trend for holidays alone and weekends away in marriages and relationships in order to rekindle the romantic spark” said pollster Judi James, who oversaw the survey.

The opinion poll for those in short-term relationships (defined as less than three years) and those who were married or in long-term partnerships.  The results showed that 67 percent of all respondents said that small irritations that are seemingly harmless and often go ignored during the early stages of love often expands into major irritations around 36 months.

More than half of British respondents (52 percent) who are in relatively new relationships, said that they enjoyed having sex at least three times a week, compared to only 16 percent of those that have been in relationships over three years.

This suggests that as we grow older together, the romance gives way to the practical day to day stuff that often penetrates relationships, this is supported by the fact that 55 percent of the people engaged in long-term relationships must now admit to having to “schedule” romantic time with their partners and spouses.

The report also said that those in the first stages of love couples can look forward to an average of three compliments a week from their partners – a figure which falls to an average of a single weekly compliment at the three-year high tide mark.

The prognosis gets worse the longer we stay in relationships, three in ten respondents who have been in a relationship for five years or more, said they have never received compliments from their partners.

The results also showed that over three quarters (76 percent) of all respondents said that “personal space is important” in a relationship and referred to an increase in individual activities.

One third (34%) of those who have been with their partner for more than three years have at least two nights a month defined as a “pass” or a “ticket”, where it is acknowledged that they can pursue their own interests and 58 percent from the same sample group to enjoy regular holidays without their partners.

Here are the top 10 everyday relationship niggles and passion killers:

1. Weight gain or lack of exercise, 13 percent

2. Money and spend thriftiness, 11 percent

3. Anti-social working hours, 10 percent

4. Hygiene problems (personal hygiene), 9 percent

5. In-Laws/extended family – too much or too little, 9 percent

6. Lack of romance (sex, gifts, date nights), 8 percent

7. Alcohol – drinking too much, 7 percent

8. Snoring and anti-social bedtime habits, 6 percent

9. Lapsed fashion-same old underwear/clothes, 4 percent

10. Bathroom habits – Stray nail clippings, hair in the sink, etc, 4 percent.

Reuters: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20110308/lf_nm_life/us_couples_survey

We can’t talk anymore. Have you heard your partner make that statement? It usually comes out after a frustrating argument or after a bout of silence for a few days. Communication can be difficult if you are not on the same page with each other and also because of other stressors we are hesitant to even discuss.  Here are some suggestions to solving the communication gap between you and your partner.

1. Try to choose the right time to talk: If you’re angling for a more serious conversation with your partner, pick the right time to do it. Make sure that you’re both are not doing anything important. It is also much better when you’re doing something casual because it keeps the atmosphere more relaxed and non-threatening.

2. Don’t start off talking in the negative: Problems are a part of life, and if you feel the need to address the issue with your partner, don’t start the kind of talk that reeks of doom and failure. Instead of telling them not to freak out, you can be calm and light about introducing a certain issue. By being generally pessimistic, you end up stressing your partner out all the more and before you get to the issue you actually wish to discuss.  You will set off warning bells in their brain.

3. Be careful in how you present your issues: The reason it’s so hard to just dive right in and say what’s on your mind is that you would rather prepare for a problem, to warm up rather than abruptly tackle it. Even with issues that aren’t major, the other would hear it as a signal to gear up and be defensive. Thus, you make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. When hearing a disclaimer, your better half will  prepare to fight you. Instead of jump-starting their anxiety and/or heart attack with statements that sound forbidding, try a gentler approach. You’ll get a more positive feedback this way.

4. Talking when they are not listening: It’s also definitely frustrating when you’re talking to your partner and halfway through, their eyes glaze over and you know at that point the mental mute button has been accessed. It’s not that your spouse doesn’t care, but it’s just what you may consider a standard-issue story that comes across as a verbal tornado. Simply put, your spouse may not be ready to hear all the minor details just yet. People with short attention spans have a three-minute window of what they can listen to closely. Anything longer than that and you’ve lost them. Then, you inevitable get frustrated instead of combating this problem like an adult. You may have to understand that some people can only listen for so long. Try to catch yourself if you start rambling, and throw in a question every now and them to keep the listener involved. It is easy for the other person to zone out if they are just having to listen. As you work at engaging your partner, they are forced to be present. If you’re close enough, try a casual touch as well, this brings your partner back to the moment.

5. Be careful about being too honest: Now most people would agree that honesty is a great thing in general, but it can also be overrated at times. There’s such a thing as reckless honesty when you’re revealing stuff that doesn’t have a constructive purpose and will do more harm than good. Not all annoyances have to be addressed and dissected. Sometimes, bringing up an inconsequential subject will only serve to insult and offend your partner. Sometimes, you just have to deal with things by yourself. There’s a fine line between being tactless and being too honest. Go by the rule of thumb when this happens to you: if you don’t have anything nice to say, then you might as well not say anything. Of  if you need to address the issue do it with respect and kindness.

Having good communication skills is so important especially in our love relationships. The way we choose to communicate to our loved one or partner can either be detrimental to the relationship or serve to enhance it. When communicating we need to do it with care and compassion being sensitive to the feelings of the other person. If you are wanting to get a particular need to met, it is better to proceed with caution instead of just using the shotgun approach.

If you want to find out how to stop divorce, the situation is going to depend on many factors. For example, a lot depends on how far things have gone down the line toward a divorce and what your spouse thinks about it too. It also makes a difference where you live.

If nobody has filed for divorce yet, then you can stop divorce by simply agreeing with your spouse that you will both wait a while before filing. Often, it is easier to get your spouse to agree to wait a while, because it sounds like a compromise between divorcing and not divorcing. But in fact agreeing to wait means that you are not divorcing for the present time.

Then you just have to continue that state of affairs for as long as possible, and try to get into some counseling. You cannot expect your spouse to commit to never divorcing you unless your spouse has religious reasons that you can call upon.

If the divorce has already been filed, then it is more difficult to stop divorce. All US states and most other states and nations in the western world now allow for a ‘no fault’ divorce, the state of New York being the last to accept this with legislation going through in August 2010. In some cases there must be a period of separation before the divorce can become final. However, this means that in the end, it is just about impossible to stop a divorce by legal means these days. The court will almost certainly approve the divorce sooner or later.

Divorces may be contested or uncontested. An uncontested divorce is where both parties have come to an agreement on all points including division of property and custody of children. Usually, lawyers are still involved in helping you reach agreement on those points, and it may take some time to settle everything before going to court. In some states also there is some delay due to the court simply being very busy. However, an uncontested divorce will usually go through pretty fast once it is brought before the court.

In the old days of ‘fault’ divorces, it was theoretically possible to contest and even stop divorce on the grounds that you were not guilty of the fault that you were accused of, which would usually be adultery, abandonment, cruelty, etc. This was a painful process that resulted in all of the history of the marriage being dragged out in court from both partners’ points of view. It was rare that the defense was successful so perhaps it is not such a bad thing that ‘fault’ divorces are becoming a thing of the past.

With a ‘no fault’ divorce, if the parties do not agree on all of the issues, then the person filing may have to wait longer before the divorce will go through. The court will have to decide any of the issues that have not been agreed, such as division of property. In this time, you may have the chance to persuade your spouse to attend for marriage counseling and reconsider. There may be some benefit in contesting the division of property for this reason. However, you should always take legal advice, and be aware that if you ask the court to decide on property matters you could finish up losing out.

Keep in mind that even if you succeed and stop divorce for right now, that does not necessarily mean that you and your spouse will continue to live together. There may be a separation. However if you can agree to stop divorce and seek marriage counseling together, there is a much bigger chance that the marriage will be saved.

So what are the signs your spouse is having an affair? If you think your spouse may be cheating, you will want to know the answer to that. Check out the tips below to see if your partner fits the profile of a cheating spouse.

1. Hiding The Phone: In the old days, it was a suspicious amount of ‘wrong numbers’ or callers who hung up when you answered the phone. Now we have cellphones, things are a little different. One of the biggest signs your spouse is having an affair is when a they would leave their phone all around the house and now suddenly keeps it welded to their pocket or close by checking it frequently. Your cheating spouse won’t risk you seeing texts from their love interest before it can be read and deleted. That is if they are good. Some cheating spouses have left their cell phone unguarded and when it was found they suffered the consequences which was not pretty.

2. Working Late: So well known we hardly have to mention it. Of course, some spouses really do work late, but they usually have the overtime payments to prove it. Do they call you from the cellphone to tell you when to expect them home? Then your cheating spouse probably is not really in the office, or they would use the office phone. The cell phone at times will invite suspicion if it’s used at times where there is a more plausible alternative.

3. Bringing You Gifts: Is your spouse bringing you gifts or being extra thoughtful and affectionate? That is one of the classic signs that your spouse is having an affair. For example, a spouse who has never bought you flowers before, suddenly comes home with a bouquet two weeks in a row. Be suspicious – your partner could be compensating for guilty feelings.

4. It’s All Your Fault: Your spouse may have brought you gifts in the beginning, but after the affair has continued for a while, things are likely to switch around. Are you having arguments over every little thing? Are you being blamed for everything that goes wrong? Your spouse cannot handle feeling guilty any more, so sometimes they will start to look for reasons why the affair (and everything else) is your fault.

5. Looking Good: One of the greatest giveaway signs your spouse is having an affair is that they will start to be a lot more concerned about their personal appearance. Your partner is suddenly on a diet, working out regularly, or using personal care items that they have never bothered with before. You may even find some new clothes in the closet to match the new hairstyle they are sporting.

6. Unexplained Expenses: Having an affair costs money, and that money has to come from somewhere. If you are privy to credit card bills check them for unusual sums of cash or for purchases that you did not have any knowledge were being made by your partner. If you have a shared savings account, your cheating spouse may be over spending and using more cash than the norm. This is a red flag to indicate that you need to watch your finances. At the same time, it is clear that your spouse is not spending that cash on you, your kids or your home. In fact, they are likely to complain about how much everything costs, because they want the money to use for another purpose.

7. Mileage and Gas: Is the car doing more miles than you would expect, or using more gas? That is another of the signs your spouse is having an affair. A cheating spouse will almost certainly be doing more driving than their regular commute to work. Unless your spouse drives for a living, you can learn a lot by recording the mileage. If you are able to see your spouse’s credit card statements, look at where they are buying their gas from. If it’s in a residential area that your are not familiar with or that your spouse has no reason to visit, you may have just found out where ‘the other person’ lives.

Sometimes, of course, you could be suspicious and you could be wrong. But if you check all of these signs your spouse could be having an affair right under your nose. It pays to be nosy especially when things begin to be different or don’t add up. If you stay plugged in, you may be close to knowing the truth.

Are you looking for a prayer to save a marriage? There are many of these available. Of course the simplest is just to ask God, humbly and sincerely, to save the marriage, provided that it is His will.

Prayer is a very strong force in our lives. This force can be strengthened by having two or more people praying together, or sharing the same prayer. Therefore, be sure to let others know that you are praying and invite them to work on the prayer to save a marriage with you.

If the marriage that you are trying to save is your own, and your spouse shares your faith, then the best thing you can do for your marriage is to agree on a shared prayer. Look for ideas on the internet or in books if you want, but work on the wording of your prayer together. Just agreeing on what you want from your marriage will be a huge step toward making it work.

If you are not one of the partners in the marriage, then things may be more difficult. You may want to pray for your parents’ marriage, or the marriage of friends or family members.

In this case, you may still be able to involve the marriage partners in your prayer to save a marriage if they share your faith. You could tell them you would like to pray for their marriage and ask them what their ideal solution for their marriage would be. If they are your parents, you could write down your prayer and show it to them. Often, knowing that you care so much about their marriage will help them to work out a solution that considers your happiness as well as their own.

If you are not so directly concerned in the marriage, you will need to be careful how you discuss your prayer with the marriage partners. For example if you want to pray for your son or daughter’s marriage, you might be accused of interfering. But it is still a good idea to try to consider the happiness of both partners in your prayer, and encourage them to talk to you about what is happening.

When you are working on a prayer to save a marriage, remember that we can never truly know God’s purpose for us. However much we may want something, it may not be best for us. However badly we feel about the breakup of a family or a relationship, it may be necessary for us to grow stronger.

So whatever is the result of your prayer to save a marriage, always try to recognize God’s purpose in your life. Look for the best in every situation that life presents to you. Remember that every marriage ends eventually, whether it is through divorce or death.

Of course, when you have been joined in marriage it is important to try as hard as you can to stay together. Keep focused on your prayer to save a marriage and you will have the best chance of happiness.

Marriage annulment is a process that is mainly important for Catholics, although some non-Catholics who feel they were never fully married may seek a legal annulment.

An annulment is not like a divorce. It is harder to get because certain criteria have to be proved. Basically, instead of saying that you want to end your marriage, you have to show that the marriage was never valid in the first place. This means that it may be possible to stop a marriage annulment, even in situations where a divorce would be granted almost automatically.

The criteria for an annulment in the courts are quite straightforward, although they can vary from country to country and state to state. Typically, a marriage annulment may be granted for any one of the following reasons:

1. One or both of the partners was too young to be legally married.

2. There is a close blood relationship between the partners, such that marriage would be illegal.

3. One or both of the partners was still legally married to somebody else when the marriage took place.

4. One or both of the partners was permanently impotent (unable to have sex) at the time of the marriage.

5. One or both of the partners was not mentally competent to enter into a marriage contract.

6. The marriage contract was entered into fraudulently, e.g. one partner concealed a criminal history or a case of a sexually transmitted disease.

7. One or both of the partners did not give their consent freely (e.g. if they entered the marriage because of threats).

In the Catholic church, there are a few more criteria. For example a marriage annulment may be given if one or both of the partners was in holy orders or had taken a vow of chastity; or if one partner refused to have children.

So a marriage annulment is not like divorce. It is not something that people can or should file for when they want out of a regular marriage. A person needs to be able to claim that the marriage was not valid, and that they were never properly married at all.

Sometimes people will seek an annulment of a marriage in order that they can marry again as if it was their first marriage. The reason that they do this is often because they want their second marriage to be recognized by the Catholic church, which does not approve of divorce and remarriage.

In this case one or both partners may claim that the marriage was never valid. They might claim, for example, that they were mentally ill at the time and therefore not able to give informed consent to the marriage. This can happen even after many years of marriage and the birth of children.

When one partner wants an annulment in this kind of situation, it can be devastating for the other partner and the children. The situation becomes as though they had been living together without being married; the children could be considered illegitimate.

For this reason, contested annulments are fairly common. The spouse who disagrees (the respondent) can put their case. If an annulment is granted by the Catholic church, the respondent still has the right of appeal.

If you are in the position of wanting to prevent or overturn an annulment, you should see a lawyer right away. It is a complicated process and you will need legal advice. It is possible to stop a marriage annulment but everything depends on the circumstances of the individual case.

There are many places that you can get free relationship advice, but some of them will be more reliable than others. In this article we give you some hints and tips for where to look for free relationship advice and what to watch out for.

Free Relationship Advice Online

There are many websites online offering free relationship advice. In some cases, they may be sites that are run by professional counselors who will provide answers to common questions in the form of an FAQ page or an ebook that you can download.

Other times you can log in to a site and have your questions answered personally. You may find forums where people are willing to give advice like this. You can also try asking your question on a site like Yahoo Answers.

In either case, keep in mind the fact that most people who answer your questions on these sites are unqualified regular folks. Some of them may have a lot of experience of keeping a relationship alive; others may be kids who have never been in a relationship at all. You just don’t know. Still, the answers that you get may give you some ideas that you can try.

When you are online, remember most professional relationship counselors need to earn a living. Like all of us, they cannot afford to sit around answering questions on free websites all day, or their kids would not eat. So in many cases, where you find free relationship advice offered online, it will not be from a professional. Or if there is a qualified relationship counselor associated with the site, they may not be online for very much of the time.

Remember that you usually do not know who you are talking to when you are online, and you cannot be sure that the advice you are getting is the best. Nevertheless, you may decide to give it a try. Of course, be careful not to give personal identity information to strangers online.

Free Relationship Advice In Your Local Area

You may be able to find free relationship advice in your local area. One on one is the best form of counseling because you will both be able to talk with somebody face to face, together. Going to your spouse or partner and saying, “I saw on this website where the counselor said ….” is not nearly so powerful as having your partner hear the same advice from the counselor direct in a face to face interview.

Of course, what is available depends on where you live. It may not be easy to find. If you are a member of a church or other religious organization, the best place to start is usually by talking to your pastor. Some pastors are qualified counselors themselves, but even if yours is not or if you prefer to see somebody else, they can usually refer you somewhere. Ministers of religion are constantly seeing people with relationship difficulties so they will be experienced enough to help you find the free relationship advice that you need.